Amuzing Side Effects of Studying for the GRE Literature Subject Test

I spent last night looking over the Odyssey to re-familiarize myself with it. I read until midnight, at which point I turned out the lights and got under the covers and passed out. That’s when the side effects began.

I dreamt all night that I was in the ocean– easily my favorite place to be– being courted by Poseidon. Eventually, I gave in, even though he’s grudgy and doesn’t heal well, and has tendencies to be violent, all qualities that don’t match with my list of non-negotiables for a partner.

But I was too horny to fight, and we ended up having all sorts of, um, intercourse, even though he was at least 20 feet tall. The funniest part was when he put me on a leash while I swam around.

Eventually, I convinced him to come over for dinner, on land, but as soon as he showed up, we had sex on the stoop in front of my apartment. I became convinced that our relationship was too sex-centered, and dumped him by waking up.

I’m brushing up on the Iliad next. I predict/ hope for dreams about orgies with the Myrmidons.


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