I’ll take you back to school

My kid’s school started up today instead of tomorrow. He was up till 1 yesterday because he stayed up late on New Year’s partying it up with me, and I stayed up till 3 writing. Result: we looked frightening today, like Scowl-Face-People, batteries not included people, breakfast can’t be as important as that, please go back to sleep, people.

I dressed hurriedly but remembered to put on some cute faux-gold $3.99 earrings I just pimped at Rainbow, one of the most ghetto-fabulous stores of this century. I always try to have my hair and earrings on right when I leave the house in the morning, because it’s always the one day I wear a mildewed bandanna and a cartoon-character Tshirt that I bump into someone fly I’d like to spend the next 3 weeks with.

I trudged down the stairs to the kitchen, where my kid was already waiting. His mohawk is now a nohawk, and dangerously resembles a mullet. He was wearing a biker T-shirt and green camo-pants his dad bought him, and a crappy blue plaid shirt over it all. He looked like a Seattle grunge kid about to go hunting. I practically vurped.

I wanted to say several things. Like:
You look like a geek.
I will be embarassed if you exit the house dressed in this “fashion.”
God, oh, God. You look all wrong.

But instead, I said, gently, “What are you wearing?”

He paused a long moment, looked at my earrings, and said, “What are you wearing? You look like your mom, after she goes to a jewelry store and stays there all day.”

Like… my… mom? Fuck! He was going hunting, all right.

I poured out my coffee and we left. I kept the earrings on… at least until after I dropped him off. Sometimes, as a parent, you have to stand your ground.

4 thoughts on “I’ll take you back to school

  1. Your kid has sass…I like that.

    I always manage to bump into people I’d like to get to know (or know again) better when I’m buying underwear in large, large sizes (my mom’s! I swear…most of the time…) and jumbo packs of feminine products. Such is life.

    Happy New Year!

  2. i knew i was going to get to be too old to understand sometime… just not this soon.

    also, i’ve been thinking, and if the ugly outfit and raggedy bandanna usually help facilitate meeting someone cute, maybe it’s actually better to wear them???

    happy new year, ladies!!!

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