We at Rockslinga have a snobby attitude towards Hollywood. I hate seeing big roomfuls of actors get honored for working 12 weeks out of the year for 20 million dollars while my friends and I slog away at novels in tiny rooms for years for 3 dollars. But I went to an oscar-viewing party anyway, and ended up laughing my ass off.
I should say, “I ended up laughing my ass off, literally.” There were some LA residents at the party, and they claim that LA is all about using “literally” incorrectly. As in:
“I ran so hard to catch the bus my legs fell off. Literally, dude, my legs literally fell off.”
“Man, I literally died. Literally. I died.”
So, my favorite moments include every single one with Jon Stewart in it, and seeing the color blue on Salma Hayek and Larry McMurtry. Salma looked so stunning I literally had a heart attack. And McMurtry in a Cowboy Tux was the bomb…I loved his props to books and booksellers.
Once, I would have never dreamed of ever writing an Oscars post, but I just did. I’m now going to hide under a rock and hang my head in shame. Literally.