I like to take credit for a lot of things. And I will now take credit for getting these two together. Erika is shy and reticent, and I forced her, in 2005, to come out to a New Year’s Eve party with me. The person I was seeing at the time met us there, which was weird since Erika was solo, and in my whole friendship with her she had always been the one with the partner and I had always been solo. Anyway, I saw a hottie hot guy in the near distance and pointed him out to Erika. Me: “Go talk to him!” She: “No!” This went on about a dozen times until she went over eventually. Almost a year and a half later, they are married.
The person I was dating? We broke up a long long time ago.
And I’ve been single ever since.
Hence the fervent urgency with which I caught the goddamn bouquet.
You know why I love weddings? They remind me that there must be a stallion out there for me. And if not, that I’ll always have good friends to get happy and piss drunk with.