Frivolous Holiday Question: Straight or Kinky? I Need Y’all’s Advice

OK, so I’m going to visit the parents this weekend. We’ll convene in the old wooden house which we moved to when I was 14. They live in the Middle East, and my siblings & I live all over the place, and all of us convene at the house once or twice a year. Now, I’ve found that in recent visits, my folks and I have gotten along just fine. They’re very sweet, the best supporters of my writing, and really funny, but they’re also sort of shallow (I can hear them now, yelling, “Nopody’s Berfect!”) I find that when I wear nice clothes during the visit, they pick on my weight less and are generally kinder to me. (I can hear my Arab chica readers relatin’.) I also find that when I straighten my hair before I get on the airplane, there’s a 70% chance they’ll be nicer when they see me. But, I feel less “me” with straight hair, AND, it takes me ages to straighten it. My flight is early, and I’d have to lose a full hour of sleep to straighten. So…here’s my dilemma: do I straighten my hair, or leave it curly? Here are some pics to help you decide:

Yours in shallowness,
Me

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13 thoughts on “Frivolous Holiday Question: Straight or Kinky? I Need Y’all’s Advice

  1. I like it both ways!

    I empathize with you. Until I got married (at which point my dad announced, “Your weight is now your husband’s worry, not mine!”–strange), my parents also obsessed over my appearance and weight.

    I always did go for all the outfits and looks that made me thinner and more attractive to them–not to please them but to get them off my back and allow myself a better time. It put me at ease too, and yes it’s totally f*cking shallow, but sometimes you gotta do what gets you through the day.

    If only all things were so simple–I would do my hair a certain way each day if it could lead to greater peace. πŸ™‚

    But that’s just me–I’m all about throwing the doggie a bone so the doggie and I can make easier friends.

  2. Hey– your empathy means lots to me!

    I’m actually becoming more & more confident/comfortable about my clothes. I *like* them, even if no one else does, and I think that comes through.

    I wish the folks were kinder. My mom told me once she didn’t believe in unconditional love. There you go… all explained.

    I like throwing the doggie piles of bones. I just want a peaceful holiday.

  3. Hey Randa,
    You look pretty with both styles πŸ™‚
    Have a great time with your folks.

    A lurking reader

  4. Hmm thats a tough one. Part of me would want to leave it curly as an F@#& you but another part of me would want to straighten just to make my life easier. But personally, I like straightening my hair once in a while…especially when I travel cuz after time on a plane my curly hair looks crazy :). So I think if I were you I would lean towards straightening but you look great either way! Good luck with them and have fun. Love- Selina

  5. Thanks for the sweetness, lurking readers! I’ll remember that if I can’t tear myself out of bed an hour early to straighten.

    And Selina, I know what you mean. I feel like there’s an airline conspiracy against curly-haired folks πŸ˜‰ Even my eyebrows look crazy after a flight. Maybe it’s ATA’s way of weeding the Arabs out? Or just lackof good Oxygen. Either way, I looks rough & wild right off a plane.

  6. It’s darling both ways, but if straight means losing an hour’s sleep, plus all that work, I vote for curly.

    One time a woman friend of mine (of color) told me I have decolonized hair. This is when it was wild and wooly and curly at the ends and big all over.

    It’s one thing to dress up nicely but going to all that trouble to straighten your hair just in case people (homeland security, your parents) might harass you otherwise – this strikes me as suppressing your true nature. Be yourself!

    Do they really bug you in the airport?

  7. Hey Leila…I think I agree with you. I love the idea of decolonized hair.

    They don’t bug me at the airport at all. It helps to have boobs and red cheeks, methinks.

  8. girl, you as kinky as they come. don’t fight it!

    and i’ve longed for curly hair my whole life. maybe i’m just jealous.

  9. You should wear it how you damn please that day. Having said that, here are a few tricks from an Arab chic with lots of kinky hair. Bumble and Bumble makes 2 products that will make your hair a lot easier to manage both ways. BB Straight is this awesome stuf that you slick into your hair and will cut your straightening time by at least 1/2! BB Curl Conscious will totally increase the curliness to a whole new level – look out airport security! And finally, I carry around a brow brush in my purse all the time. My eyebrows look like hell after a flight! Have a great time and say hi to your family from me.
    Baby Z

  10. Baby Z- you have THE NICEST eyebrows on the planet. I envy & covet them.
    Thanks for the Bb tip. I might snatch some, or get Mama to buy me some. I miss you! And your hair!

    And Elka- when I read your comment I remembered that morning in oakland when we walked to Arz Mundi for coffee- your hair looked so f*ing fly just air-dried. I envied it. I guess the grass is always greener, be it kinky or straight grass…

  11. decide in the morning when you wake up how you feel…that’s what i do! i kinda go with the flow…:) this morning i set my alarm early to straighten but then i was too tired so i just slept the extra time πŸ™‚ so you see…the more-a you go with the flow the more-a your hair will flow. hahahaha.

  12. Hey props to Zeina for not only being gorgeous but also for sharing her beauty secrets with us. That is true sisterhood. An eyebrow brush, huh? I never knew of such a thing.

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